Dawn
by wheretobe
Summary: Someone dies, and she has to cope with it. Charackters will be revealed in the last chapter. Please Review if you have read.
1. Default Chapter

**Dawn**

Summary: Someone dies, and she has to let go

Authors note: Charackters get revealed in the end. Please review. Thanks

Disclaimer: Charackters ain´t mine…I´m stealing em. So what? I don´t make money with them.

She stood alone, everybody else long gone. Head bend, shoulders slumbed, her eyes gone dry long ago.

The arrangement of flowers giving a strong contrast to the situation itself. White lillies, beautifully put down on the coffin.Portraying a vibrant life, a life he hadn´t had. A life that wasn´t granted to a man that deserved it like no other.

But soon those lillies would suffocate under a ton of old earth. Enclosing them in darkness, like her heart. They would die like her soul had.

The rustling of the wind in the trees all around went unnoticed. For her the earth had halted in every movement. Everything around her went by in blurs of color and light.

Finally she moved. Just some inches to lift her head. Blue eyes, void of emotions or life itself. Fallen cheeks, lips tightly pressed together to hold back a scream of agony. A pale face, a picture of grieve.

Someone stepped up to her. A man dressed in a black suit. Looking understanding but asking something she didn´t want to hear. She nodded meekly, knowing it was time.

Time was a funny thing. She had thought they´d have all the time in the world. But that was a lie covering the painful truth. They had no time at all. And before it had begun, it had ended.

A fight, words that would´ve been better left unsaid. Tears of Anger, curses, swears.

Old promises of love and understanding thrown away like their love.

And then he was gone. Not just with his car down the road. No.

They had called her merely 2 hours after the fight. She was still furious at him, at his stubborness and at herself for feeling so.

She listened to the Sheriff, on the phone, telling what happened, Phrasing each sentence carefully.

She had said nothing at all. She hung up and sat down at the kitchen table, looking straight ahead. She couldn´t comprehend what had happened. Didn´t want to.

He would come back tonight. They would look down ashamed, then slowly make up. Falling in love all over again.

That was her mantra, she tried hard to make it her reality. But then it hit her. He had died. In an accident after he drove away angrily.

And thats when a tear rolled down her face and she finally understood that she would never see him again. They would never make up.

He would never again hold her in his arms while falling asleep or waking up. They would never again be together, just for a fraction of time.

- End of Part one -

Please review guys. If enough do then I´ll be quick posting the already finished chapters. 2 more to come.


	2. Part 2

Dawn

-Part 2-

Everyone of Stars Hollow had taken great pity in her. First trying to talk to her, help her through it. But when she never responded they gave up. She had long ago.

She planned the funeral fast. Like a madwoman not leaving her house until everything was perfect.

She felt she owed him. But something inside her couldn´t let her rest.

His last words, the anger they were spoken with. And then the picture of his retreating back, all mingled up in her head, granting her no sleep.

They never forgave each other, never had the chance too. All the aweful things that had been said. All the things she said to him.

She would never be able to say sorry. And so when he died , he did despising her.

But all the time to the funeral she had kept a straight face. Her poker face , or so she had once called it. She couldn´t break down. She was needed, she had to arrange his funeral.

A funeral he deserved, were all her love had flowed into.

And there was the Inn. Even if her co-workers told her to take off some time, she couldn´t. She needed work, to forget what happened. To have something on her mind so she wouldn´t think of him. The touch she would never feel again, his kisses, his gentle smiles only reserved for her. The love with which he blanketed her throughout the day.

When their first week of togetherness had passed, she remembered, she had asked herself how she could´ve deserved him. His dead must have been the answer. She hadn´t, not at all. And so he was ripped away from her.

She watched the coffin being lowered into the earth. Gently, slowly. Into the last place he would rest at.

He had been handsome, even after life. She had chosen a shirt and some pants for him. Unconciously making him wear the clothes she liked most. Through eternity.

She had chosen the epitaph on his tombstone carefully.

_iIn the arms of an Angel_./i

That was were she wished he would be. That was what she felt like whenever she had been in his arms. When they had hugged, kissed or rested at night.

They had assured her that he hadn´t felt any pain. He was dead immediatly after the crash.

She held on to that.

Earth was put over the coffin. Soon nothing but brown could be seen. The white of the lillies had faded.

She stood until he was buried. No one was there anymore. Many people had come. People who had known him. So many. Friends, family and others, to say their goodbye.

She walked over to his tombstone. Taking a last look at the words engraved. She laid a single white rose on it. Kissing her hand, then touching the tombstone with it.

' I love you. I´m sorry.'

Those were the last words she uttered. Her voice a mere croak, from lack of use.

She looked up into the sky. Gray clouds hanging deep, threatening. The smell of rain in the air.

In her inner eye she could see him. A faint smile on his face. A smile he had only given her. Full of assurance. A smile she held only memories of. A smile she would never see again.

-End part 2-


	3. Part 3

Dawn

Ok guys, this is the last part of the story. Thanks for your reviews!

-Part 3-

She had walked home. Straight to his place. Knowing that no one would disturb her there.

Thunder was rolling over the town, rain coming down.

She felt as if heaven was crying for a lost son.

She went into his bed after she arrived at his place. Lying in his bed. Remembering all the good times that had taken place in here. The silent promises they gave each other.

Worth nothing, not anymore.

She turned on her side and stroked over his pillow once. The place were he used to sleep. Always turned to her. Sometimes gazing at her while she slept.

Watching over her at all times.

She knew they were waiting for her at home. Wanting to comfort her. But she couldn´t face the truth that they embodied, not yet.

Once again she stroked over the pillow, freeing his scent from it. Making it waft around her.

She grabbed it gently, pulling it to her body, hugging it close. Imagining that it was him she was holding. His aftershave she was smelling.

When she looked up she saw faint images of him and her. Smiling at each other, hugging, kissing. And making love. Even quarreling.

Holding on to every little memory she had. Trying to make the faint figure of him become real. Trying to bring him back somehow. Knowing she couldn´t. Knowing full well that it was a lost battle.

The what if´s played through her mind. What if she hadn´t had screamed at him? Or tried to calm down, to understand his reasoning? Or what if she would´ve run after him? Trying to talk it out?

Just a minute longer. Just one minute was all it would have taken. One minute later on the road and he would have found a lumber truck, fallen over. He would have stopped and called an ambulance.

But he had never had that minute. Therefor when the truck swayed he was under it. Trying to break, to somehow flee from his fate.

She never tried to imagine what it must´ve been like for him. Couldn´t bring herself to do it.

A bolt of lightning, followed by an earshattering thunder, brought her out of her reverie.

She bolted upright in bed.

Had she heard right? It had sound like him screaming her name.

She looked around his place. Everything was neat, at its usual place. But he was missing. If she could just hear him one more time, one more utterance, one more laugh. She would give everything.

Suddenly her eyes filled with tears. The first flow of tears since his death. The first time she cried for honest. The first time she let go of her pain wretched screams, full of sadness. Finally the feeling of loss settled. A feeling of truth, anger, remorse. She couldn´t make it out.

With a tear streaked face and emotion filled eyes she looked heavenwards. Sobbing in earnest wishing he would be there. Like he had always been, to comfort her, take her in his arms and sooth her pain.

He was dead.

She clutched his pillow to her chest, remebering him in his coffin. Wearing the blue flannel shirt, still bathed with her scent. His favourite jeans. His cappy turned backwards, like usual.

'LUKE!'

She screamed his name over and over, like a chant sung to bring someone back.

Lorelai swayed back and forth in his bed. Feeling her heart finally shattering. Into a million pieces.

After awhile she fell back exhausted. Her last strength had gone. The grief was overpowering her and then winning.

Soon all the strain from the last days came over her, numbing her, making her sleepy.

Lorelai lay on his side of the bed, sobbing quietly. She couldn´t comprehend how long she had been at his place.

The last thing she remembered was his voice saying:' I´m in...I´m all in.'

And then she fell asleep. Alone, cold, shaken to the core.

**End **


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